Bang Goes The Knighthood

Release Date

May 2010

Bang Goes The Knighthood is the tenth studio album and features the singles: At The Indie Disco and I Like.

Down In The Street Below Press the doorbell and push the door Climb the darkened stairwell to the second floor She'll be waiting for you in her dressing-gown With the drink she poured you when she heard the sound Watch the film, eat the food she cooked Talk of how the film ain't half as good as the book Kiss her sleepy eyes closed and say 'it's time' To slip beneath the shadows of the bedroom blinds Well it's always a pleasure and never a chore But you just don't know whether you're doing it for the right reasons It's cold for the season down in the street below Men and women go about their business Picking up the last few things for Christmas Trying not to step upon the pigeons Praying to the gods of their religions That they might be spared a little longer That they might become a little stronger Down in the street below Everybody's on a secret mission Everybody's got their own ambitions They would tell you if they thought you'd listen They would say how lately they've been wishing For the chance to meet a handsome stranger Lead a life of elegance and danger Down in the street below Down in the street below Way up high in a phallic tower You're swimming in a tiny galaxy of stars Knocking back mojitos at the cocktail bar Talking 'bout burritos and conceptual art Your armchair's round and your glass is square The clientele's straight out of this month's Vanity Fair Well look around the place, something's not quite right Yours is the only face that you don't recognize Well it's always a pleasure and never a chore But you just don't know whether you're doing it for the right reasons It's cold for the season down in the street below

The Complete Banker Can anyone lend me ten billion quid? Why do you look so glum? Was it something I did? So I caused a second great depression What can I say? I guess I got a bit carried away If I say I'm sorry will you give me the money? You know me The complete banker in a black Bentley Sweet Samantha riding next to me Oh how I hanker for the good old days When I was free The complete banker in my Armani Before the rancour and disharmony Well money makes the world go round And round and down the drain We went to war on the floor of the exchange To all of us it was just a big game But God I loved it, making a profit from somebody's loss I never knew exactly whose money it was And I did not care as long as there was lots for me The complete banker in a black Bentley Sweet Samantha riding next to me Oh how I hanker for the good old days When I was free The complete banker in my Armani Before the anger and the inquiries Well money makes the world go round And round and down the drain We'll learn the lessons, run tests and analyse We'll crunch the numbers 'cause the numbers never lie Maybe this recession is a blessing in disguise We can build a much much bigger bubble the next time And leave the rest to clean our mess up Well that's just me The complete banker in a black Bentley Margaret Thatcher riding next to me Oh how I hanker for the good old days When I was free I'm the complete banker I'm a conscience-free malignant cancer on society And one day you'll let your guard down And I'll come round again

Neapolitan Girl Through the rubble of the bombed out streets Through the squalor and the poverty Walks a proud Neapolitan girl With a head of thick black curls She doesn't care 'bout right or wrong Just about where the next meal's coming from Neapolitan girl Innocence can often be Another one of war's casualties But innocence can be restored With a visit to the Professore For ten thousand lire he Can find mislaid virginity His dirty needle leaves a trail of scars And keeps her at the peak of her sexual powers Neapolitan girl She takes him riding on the 133 Through the city to the cemetery Where the Neapolitan girls go Down behind the headstones Oh the quickening breath and muffled cries As life and death become entwined Now baby, just pretend you don't see 'em Lusting in the mausoleum Neapolitan girl Lola has a lover in the city bank And Lola has a lover in the British ranks Well, Lola has them over in the middle of the day 'Cause Lola makes the neighbours all jealous that way She doesn't care 'bout right or wrong Just about where the next meal's coming from Neapolitan girl Neapolitan girl

Bang Goes The Knighthood Out of the station and through the arcade Past the antique shops of Regent's Parade To an innocuous London address A quick glance around and then down the wet steps God only knows what keeps bringing me here Gambling with everything that I hold dear One careless word in establishment ears And bang goes the knighthood, the wife and career You make me feel You make me feel something And feeling something beats feeling nothing at all And nothing at all is what I feel all the rest of the time If someone sees If someone hears something I know it's coming, the fear is making me ill But then fear is part of the thrill They taught me discipline at boarding school The consequences of breaking the rules They said 'we're just being cruel to be kind' As they beat me to within an inch of my life So chain me, restrain me and teach me to kneel Bind me and grind me beneath your high heels Crack goes the whip, and if someone should tell Bang goes the knighthood as-well

At The Indie Disco We go down to the indie disco every Thursday night Dance to our favourite indie hits until the morning light At the indie disco, the indie disco At the indie disco, yeah We've got a table in the corner that is always ours Under the poster of Morrissey with a bunch of flowers We drink and talk 'bout stupid stuff Then hit the floor for Tainted Love You know I just can't get enough Of the indie disco, the indie disco At the indie disco, yeah Give us some Pixies and some Roses and some Valentines (We're in heaven) Give us some Blur and some Cure and some Wannadies (We'll dance forever) And now we're moving to the beat And staring at each others feet I wonder if she fancies me At the indie disco, the indie disco At the indie disco, yeah And when it's over and I'm freezing on the night-bus home I think of her and I sing the words to my favourite song (Oh Yeah) She makes my heart beat the same way As at the start of Blue Monday Always the last song that they play At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah yeah yeah At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah

Have You Ever Been In Love Have you ever started dancing in the middle of a shopping mall Have you ever burst out laughing for no reason at all Have you ever noticed the rhythms in the rain And have you ever felt the ecstasy of pain Have you ever been in love Have you sung along to all the silly love-songs you hate And have you had to pinch yourself to make sure you're awake Have you ever felt like you could float into the sky Like the laws of physics simply don't apply Have you ever been in love Have you ever met somebody who could see inside your head Have you ever been so happy you've lain awake in bed Have you ever figured out the meaning of life Just by looking into someone else's eyes Have you ever been in love

Assume The Perpendicular Slip on your Barbour jacket, jump in my old MG We're off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can see see see We don't wanna drink the cider, we don't wanna walk for miles We just want to go to a stately home built in the Georgian style I can't abide a horizontal life It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds And talk about nothing in particular Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade Just for today we're lords and ladies, oh what a gay charade! Lavinia loves the lintels - Anna, the architraves Ben's impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel knave I can't abide a horizontal life It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular Jump up and down, make funny little sounds And talk about nothing in particular We'll walk the grounds by Capability Brown Get lost for days inside the manicured maze We'll bump our heads jumping on a four-post bed We'll ride for free On the ladders round the walls of the circular library I can't abide a horizontal life It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds And talk about nothing in particular I can't abide a horizontal life It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds And talk about nothing in particular Nothing in particular

The Lost Art Of Conversation Why all the distance in existence Join the resistance Come on, let's start by talking tactics With pepper-pots and matchsticks Here's how we practice The lost art of conversation David Jason, Francis Bacon, Frank Lampard It's gonna take some concentration But all the best things do There's a terrific neolithic tribe in the pacific They've got no cars, no televisions No money, no ambitions Just some pigs and some chickens And the lost art of conversation The League of Nations, The English Patient, Joan Of Arc It's gonna take some imagination But all the best things do Don't try this in public or they'll think you've gone insane And it won’t be long before the men in white coats come To take you far away We had a comrade, a brave comrade He could talk for whole days But then he tried to be a hero Tried talking 'bout Jean Miro to commuters wearing earphones He almost died for conversation Hallucinations, Good Vibrations, Van Dyke Parks Greyhound racing, Steeple chasing, The Reformation Transubstantiation, Bram Stoker's creation, The Land of the Thracians And right back to the start It's gonna take some time and patience But all the best things do Don't try this in public or they'll think you've gone insane And it won’t be long before the men in white coats come To take you far away, far away Well here they come

Island Life Washing your face in the morning dew Island life Gathering wood for the breakfast brew Island life Watching the waves breaking on the shore While cormorants circle up high This is our island life Sea and sun, earth and sky Play all day, sleep all night This is our island life - island life Diving for pearls in the shallow sea Island life Watching for ships from the tallest tree Island life We can explore till the sun goes down Then explore some more when we rise This is our island life Sea and sun, earth and sky Play all day, sleep all night This is our island life - island life What yesterday was a distant dream Has now been made real by the night This is our island life Sea and sun, earth and sky Play all day, sleep all night This is our island life This is our island life Sea and sun, earth and sky Play all day, sleep all night This is our island life - island life

When A Man Cries When a child cries the tears rise quickly Spill hot and prickly down the reddened cheeks Just to leave as quickly as they came And peace returns again When a child cries you know about it They scream and shout until the hurt is gone Like a shower of rain That for a moment hides away the sun But when a man cries it's choked and throttled It's all been bottled up for far too long And when at last the pressure cooker blows It's hard to stem the flow When a man cries his body shakes And his eyeballs ache And his mind vibrates But he doesn't make a sound Don't wanna wake the house now Well the reasons are vague, hard to put in words Just a dull abstract ache, don't wanna worry her She would only ask what's wrong and I'd try to say Then she'd take all my pain and explain it away But who can explain why a man cries When a man cries he cries alone And for just a moment he's back at home Cradled in his mother's arms Free from guilt and safe from harm

Can You Stand Upon One Leg Can you stand upon one leg It's harder than you think If you can do it without falling down You can do just about anything Go on, see if you can See how long you can stand on one leg Can you beat your dad at chess It's harder than you think Sit him down at Christmas Turn the TV off Give him lots of chocolates and a drink And he might give you a match And when you've been duly dispatched he will laugh Ha ha ha And you'll say, 'one more game'? Can you write a silly song It's harder than you think One that's not too short One that's not too long One that can make everybody sing Go on, give it a try You might do better than I It's just like trying to stand on one leg Tell me can you tell a funny joke One that makes you laugh out loud One that makes the milk come out your nose If you know a funny joke then tell it now... ...that's not bad, I'm impressed But there's one final test Can you hold a singing note for a stupidly long time Well it's my party piece so let's make it a little harder By starting it way up high Come on, give it a go Let's see how long you can hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooold on to a note!

I Like I like your nose, I like your hair I like you clothed, I like you bare I like your boots, your skirts and your blouses I like your suits, your shirts and your trousers I like your mild political stances I like your wild spontaneous dances I like the way you drive me insane, morning, noon and night I like you cause you're sexy I like the sexy things you dress in I like it when you're sitting next to me whispering sexy things I like you 'cause you like me I like the poems that you write me I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me They make me look all right Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like I like the way you make me laugh I like your brain, both left and right half I like the songs you sing when you're bathing I like your dog when he's behaving I like your car, you curse like a trooper During a hard reversing manoeuvre I like the way we kiss and we make up after a fight I like you cause you're sexy I like the sexy things you dress in I like it when you're sitting next to me texting me sexy things I like you 'cause you like me I like the poems that you write me I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me They make me look all right Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like I like you cause you're crazy I like the way you do whatever you like It constantly amazes me Baby please stay with me tonight Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like...