A Secret History (The Best Of...)

Release Date

Aug 1999

A Secret History is a compilation album featuring the best of The Divine Comedy which included two new tracks at the time of release.

National Express Take the National Express when your life's in a mess It'll make you smile All human life is here From the feeble old dear to the screaming child From the student who knows that to have one of those would be suicide To the family man Manhandling the pram with paternal pride And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da...' We're going where the air is free On the National Express There's a jolly hostess selling crisps and tea She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks For a sky-high fee Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) But it's hard to get by When your arse is the size of a small country And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da...' We're going where the air is free Tomorrow belongs to me When you're sad and feeling blue With nothing better to do Don't just sit there feeling stressed Take a trip on the National Express

Something For The Weekend She said, "There's something in the woodshed And I can hear it breathing It's such an eerie feeling, darling" He said, "There's nothing in the woodshed It's your imagination End of the conversation, darling" Something in his heart told him to come clean He was not who he claimed to be Something in his genes told him to pretend 'Twas something for the weekend But she said, "There's something in the woodshed I know because I saw it I can't simply ignore it, darling" So he said, "Now baby don't be stupid Get this into your sweet head There ain't nothing in the woodshed (except maybe some wood)" Something in his heart told him to come clean He was not who he claimed to be Something in his jeans told him to pretend 'Twas something for the weekend "I'll go all the way with you If you'll only do the same for me Go and see If it's nothing like you say Then you can have your wicked way with me" He went down to the woodshed They came down hard on his head Gagged and bound and left for dead When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money

Everybody Knows (Except You) Everybody knows that I love you Everybody knows that I need you Everybody knows that I do, except you I told the stars above About the one I love I told the morning sun Yeah I'm telling everyone I told my mum and dad They seemed to understand And I'll get through to you If it's the last thing that I do Everybody knows that I love you Everybody knows that I need you Everybody knows that I do, except you Everybody knows that I live for you Everybody knows that I adore you Everybody knows that it's true, except you I told all of my friends Again and again and again I drove them round the bend So now you're my only friend I told the passers by I made a small boy cry And I'll get through to you If it's the last thing that I do 'Cause everybody knows that I love you Everybody knows that I need you Everybody knows that I do, except you I'm going crazy baby What do I have to do? You know I love you baby Maybe you love me too Everybody knows that I live for you Everybody knows that I adore you Everybody knows that it's true, except you Except you, except you, except you How come everybody knows, except you? Oh everybody knows that I love you And everybody knows that I need you Everybody knows that that I do, except you

Generation Sex Generation sex respects the rights of girls Who want to take their clothes off As long as we can all watch that's ok And generation sex elects the type of guys You wouldn't leave your kids with And shouts "off with their heads" if they get laid Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macs Take snaps through telephoto lenses They chase Mercedes Benz' through the night A mourning nation weeps and wails But keeps the the sales of evil tabloids healthy The poor protect the wealthy in this world Generation sex injects the sperm of worms Into the eggs of field-mice So you can look real nice for the boys And generation sex is me and you And we should really all know better It really doesn't really matter what you say

Becoming More Like Alfie Once there was a time when my mind lay on higher things And once there was a time I could find pretty words to sing But now, well now I find it saves time to say what you mean I know it seems so unrefined but it's time to let off some steam Oh come on! Everybody knows that no means yes Just like glasses come free on the NHS But the more I look through them the more I see I'm becoming more like Alfie Once there was a time when a kind word could be enough And once there was a time I could blindfold myself with love But not now - now I'm resigned to the kind of life I had reserved For other guys less smart than I You know - the kind who will always end up with the girls And besides everybody knows that No means Yes Just like glasses come free on the NHS But the more I look through them the more I see I'm becoming more like Alfie Oh come on! I'm becoming more like Alfie

The Summerhouse Do you remember the way it used to be June to September in a cottage by the sea Distant cousins, local kids We climbed every tree together And it never ever rained Till we climbed back on the train That would take us so far away From the village and the bay And the summerhouse Where we found new games to play Do you remember Sunday lunch on the lawn Daring escapes at midnight And costumeless bathes at dawn You were only nine years old And I was barely ten It's kind of weird to be back here again Do you remember The summerhouse...?

Your Daddy's Car We took your Daddy's car and drove it to the sea We fooled around for hours And then when we got tired and it got dark We found a place to park And we watched the sun set fire to the sea Can you feel the sadness in our love? It's the only kind we're worthy of Can you feel the madness in our hearts As the key turns and the engine starts? We took your Daddy's car and drove it into town We steamed into a bar And we bought the biggest bottle of champagne And driving through the rain we sang 'God bless this car, and all who sail in her!' Can you feel the sadness in our love? Well, it's the only kind we're worthy of And can you feel the madness in our hearts As the key turns and the engine starts? Engine starts We took your Daddy's car and wrapped it round a tree We didn't know what for We didn't feel like driving any more It was so good we got bored And we are driving from the day we are born Can you feel the sadness in our love? Well, it's the only kind we're worthy of And can you feel the madness in our hearts As the key turns and the engine starts?

The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count (Single Version) Are you ready? OK 1, 2, 3, 4 I fall for this season every time When it's hot and everybody smiles I can't help myself, I'm in love with the summertime Even when I get hay-fever I find I may sneeze but I don't really mind As long as I'm in love with the summertime Laugh at the tears you're crying Smile while your head explodes You don't have to take this lying down So blow your nose baby And just get your fingers clicking To the rhythm and the rhyme Otherwise you'll just be kicking around And that's a crime How can you talk that way on such a lovely day? When sunshine comes your way it's time to make some hay I fall for this season every time When it's hot and everybody smiles I can't help myself, I'm in love with the summertime Even when I get hay-fever I find I may sneeze but I don't really mind As long as I'm in love with the summertime Oh, stop your belly-aching We all know what it's like There ain't a pill I haven't taken I guess But that's alright baby 'Cause your Daddy's car is waiting To take us to the sea She feels like celebrating life and so should we How can you talk that way on such a lovely day? When sunshine comes your way it's time to make some hay I fall for this season every time When it's hot and everybody smiles I can't help myself, I'm in love with the summertime Even when I get hay-fever I find I may sneeze but I don't really mind As long as I'm in love with the summertime Summertime!

The Frog Princess I met a girl, she was a frog princess I guess I ought to make it clear That I saw nothing through her see-through dress Until she whispered in my ear You don't really love me and I don't really mind 'Cause I don't love anybody, that stuff is just a waste of time Your place or mine? I met a girl, she was a complete mess I should've left her well alone - but oh no, not me I had to see if underneath that dress Her heart was really made of stone You don't really love me and I don't really mind 'Cause I don't love anybody, that stuff is just a waste of time Your place or mine? I met a girl, she was a frog princess And yes I do regret it now But how was I to know that just one kiss Could turn my frog into a cow? And now I'm rid of her I must confess To thinking 'bout what might have been And I can visualize my frog princess Beneath a shining guillotine You don't really love me and baby that is all right 'Cause I don't love anybody, I come and go through people's love lives Your place or mine? ...

Gin Soaked Boy I'm the darkness in the light I'm the leftness in the right I'm the rightness in the wrong I'm the shortness in the long I'm the goodness in the bad I'm the saneness in the mad I'm the sadness in the joy I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy Ba ba ba ba de la da... I'm the ghost in the machine I'm the genius in the gene I'm the beauty in the beast I'm the sunset in the east I'm the ruby in the dust I'm the trust in the mistrust I'm the Trojan horse in Troy I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy Ba ba ba ba de la da... I'm the tiger's empty cage I'm the mystery's final page I'm the stranger's lonely glance I'm the hero's only chance I'm the undiscovered land I'm the single grain of sand I'm the Christmas morning toy I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy, the gin-soaked boy Ba ba ba ba de la da... I'm the world you'll never see I'm the slave you'll never free I'm the truth you'll never know I'm the place you'll never go I'm the sound you'll never hear I'm the course you'll never steer I'm the will you'll not destroy I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy, yeah, the gin-soaked boy Ba ba ba ba de la da... I'm the half-truth in the lie I'm the why not in the why I'm the last role in the die I'm the old school in the tie I'm the sprirt in the sky I'm the catcher in the rye I'm the twinkle in her eye I'm Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly" Well, who am I?

Lucy I travelled among unknown men In lands beyond the sea; Nor, England did I know till then What love I bore to thee. 'Tis past, that melancholy dream! Nor will I quit thy shore A second time; for I still seem To love thee more and more. Love thee more and more. Among thy mountains did I feel The joy of my desire; And she I cherished turned her wheel Beside an English fire. By mornings showed, by nights concealed The bowers where Lucy played; And thine too is the last green field That Lucy's eye surveyed. Lucy's eye surveyed. She dwelt among the untrodden ways Beside the springs of Dove, A Maid whom there were none to praise And very few to love: A violet by a mossy stone Half hidden from the eye Fair as a star, when only one Is shining in the sky. Shining in the sky. She lived unknown, and few could know When Lucy ceased to be; But she is in her grave and, oh The difference to me! A slumber did my spirit seal; I had no human fears. She seemed a thing that could not feel The touch of earthly years. No motion has she now, no force; She neither hears nor sees; Rolled round in earth's diurnal course, With rocks, and stones, and trees.

Songs Of Love Pale, pubescent beasts Roam through the streets and coffee-shops Their prey gather in herds Of stiff knee-length skirts and white ankle-socks But while they search for a mate My type hibernate in bedrooms above Composing their songs of love Young, uniform minds In uniform lines and uniform ties Run round with trousers on fire And signs of desire they cannot disguise, While I try to find words As light as the birds that circle above To put in my songs of love Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice So sing while you have time Let the sun shine down from above And fill you with songs of love Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice So let's sing while we still can While the sun hangs high up above Wonderful songs of love Beautiful songs of love

In Pursuit Of Happiness Hey, I'm not the type to say one thing and do another And if it's all right, I'd kind of like to be your lover 'Cause when you're with me I can't help but be So desperately uncontrollably happy! And hey, I'm not the kind to fall in love without good reason And if that's a crime then baby I'm committing high treason 'Cause when you're with me I'm absolutely And totally, quite uncontrollably happy! And hey, I'm not so blind that I can't see where we're all going And it's no fault of mine if humankind reaps what it is sowing Just as long as we are together forever I'll never be anything other than happy! Hey, don't be surprised, if millions die in plague and murder True happiness lies beyond your fries and happy burger

I've Been To A Marvellous Party By Noel Coward I must say it's the most extraordinary experience not everybody I suppose it's something to do with the sun and all that but I wouldn't understand myself really and I'm not sure its even legal You know quite for no reason I'm here for the season and high as a kite Living in error with Maud at Cap Ferrat which couldn't be right Everyone's here and frightfully gay nobody cares what people say Though the Riviera seems really much queerer than Rome at its height On Wednesday night I went to a marvellous party With Nunu and Nada and Nell It was in the fresh air and we went as we were and we stayed as we were which was hell Poor Grace started singing at midnight and she didn't stop singing til four We knew the excitement was bound to begin when Laura got blind on Dubonnet and Gin And scratched her veneer with a Cartier pin - I couldn't have liked it more! I couldn't have liked it more... I've been to a marvellous party We played a wonderful game Maureen disappeared and came back in a beard and we all had to guess at her name Cecil arrived wearing armour, some shells and a black feather boa Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb made of bits of mosaic from St Peters in Rome But the weight was so great that she had to go home - well I couldn't have liked it more.. I've been to a marvellous party I must say the fun was intense We all had to do what the people we knew might be doing 100 years hence We talked about growing old gracefully and Elsie who's 74 said, "a. it's a question of being sincere And b. if you're supple you've got nothing to fear" Then she swung upside down from a chandelier - and I couldn't have liked it more.. It was the most fabulous excitement, I've never seen such a carry on, obviously it couldn't happen anywhere else but on the Riviera it was most peculiar... You know people's behaviour away from Belgravia would make you aghast So much variety watching society scampering past... You know if you had any mind at all, Gibbons divine 'Decline and Fall' Well it sounds pretty flimsy no more than a whimsy by way of contrast on Wednesday last… I went to a marvellous party we didn't sit down til ten You know young Bobby Carr did a stunt at the bar with a lot of extraordinary men And then Freda arrived with a turtle which shattered us all to the core And then the Duchess passed out at a quarter to three and suddenly Cyril cried 'fiddle-de-de' and he ripped off his trousers and jumped in the sea and I couldn't have liked it more.. I've been to a marvellous party - Elise made an entrance with May You'd never have guessed from her fisherman's vest that her bust had been whittled away Poor Lulu got fried on chianti and talked about esprit de corps Louise made a couple of passes at Gus and Freddy who hates any kind of a fuss did half the big apple and twisted his truss - HA HA! I couldn't have liked it more!

The Certainty Of Chance A butterfly flies through the forest rain And turns the wind into a hurricane I know that it will happen 'Cause I believe in the certainty of chance A schoolboy yawns, sits back and hits return While round the world computers crash and burn I know that it will happen 'Cause I believe in the certainty of chance And I believe I can see it all so clearly now You must go and I must set you free 'Cause only that will bring you back to me I know that it will happen I'm sure that it must happen Oh I know that it's gonna happen Because I believe in the certainty of chance

Too Young To Die Too young to die but too old to survive I've spent too long trying to write this song The tune is OK but the words are all wrong Maybe it's time for a change I've lived a lie since the day I arrived Building my dreams, grand romantic schemes Now I'm twenty eight but I'm still in my teens Maybe it's time for a change Now it's time to say goodbye To my suit, my shirt, my tie My youth seems to have passed me by And I'm too young to die I will not weep for what we leave behind I must break free from that part of me That values the art over the humanity I think it's time for a change I thought that I was doing fine But now I've changed my mind 'Cause now it's time to say goodbye To my suit, my shirt, my tie My youth seems to have passed me by And I'm too young to die Maybe it's time for a change

Tonight We Fly Tonight we fly Over the houses the streets and the trees Over the dogs down below They'll bark at our shadows As we float by on the breeze Tonight we fly Over the chimney tops, skylights and slates Looking into all your lives And wondering why happiness is so hard to find Over the doctor, over the soldier Over the farmer, over the poacher Over the preacher, over the gambler Over the teacher Over the rambler, over the lawyer Over the dancer, over the voyeur Over the builder and the destroyer Over the hills and far away Tonight we fly Over the mountains, the beach and the sea Over the friends that we've known And those that we now know And those who we've yet to meet And when we die Oh, will we be that disappointed or sad? If heaven doesn't exist what will we have missed? This life is the best we've ever had